I am so proud: I used to be in charge of Planning. While I was, I approved a world class hotel at the entrance of our capital's harbour. Unfortunately, the witty allusions to inter-war industrial architecture in its design went right over the heads of the local plebs, and many of them have been very rude about it.
Now, however, I have been vindicated. Our splendid hotel has just won a national architectural award, against stiff competition from all over the British Isles.
So, see how soundly we Ministers join up our thinking: Our next big project at the harbour will be a world class incinerator, way beyond the size of anything ever seen in such a small place before. We shall put this on the opposite side of the harbour to mirror the visual impact of the award-winning hotel. To any visitors that still might come to do business here, it will seem like sailing between Scylla and Charybdis. What an exciting prospect: Surely yet another award will be coming our way.